11.30.08
On the Plateau where I stand…..
Possible is it, in this vastness of space full of faces in which accustomed I already am and yet here I am helplessly inadequate to smile or speak. Interpreting every sway of the hips, the movements of the hands, the eyes so deceiving can be rather weary. I looked into those dark brown eyes trying to embrace close to me the last hint of sincerity and genuineness . Something drifted from my side since the very day….I yearned thirstily for the slightest hint of pureness, slightest tinge of innocence glistening along the windowpanes of life. Have they left us isolated in this isle of misery? Have they thoughtlessly left the heart hollow and walked towards their garden of eden?or because paranoid I am , or because I am merely guarding this heart of mine,or because I am all bleed out.
Trembled my lips,those bleak bitter nights. Hands and feet of mine toasty beneath the chunky blue comforter patterned with swirls, yet Jack Frost gave them no rest and blew glacial of wind turning them blue. Thoughts haunted the best of me during witching hours in the dusk of the room. Tossing and turning,specks of tears retrieved, refusing to surrender to defeat.
Walking along the trail, I looked only ahead, I saw only the marker and to the marker was my adventure. Affrayed am I not,and if defeating hungry beasts would be means of survival, I would if I only could but the faint of my heart would only get the better of me. If I could just be a little more rigid,abandon naiveness in a bag and leave them in the forest of the forgone. Maybe then I would be a fighter and not the flimsy butterfly in the grasp of your strong palms crushing me. Walking along the trail, upon reaching my destination I was in ecstasy thus forgot the path home. I fret at the sight of unfamiliar buildings, unfamiliar route, Whipped out my cell and I looked helplessly as though technology-ignorant I became. I had no one in mind. Maybe I thought to myself, I am supposed to learn to be independent But God I asked, But God I said the price to learn this lesson is a price a little too much to pay.Do you not agree?
On the Plateau where I stand,I looked down to the sea of people waltzing to the melody of Blue Danube. On the plateau where I stand, I felt insignificant, lonely, really, like a wall flower blending into the posies growing along the terrace. Lonely among the hundreds,millions of faces who knows my name.Ringing bells of laughter seemed like miles away, Robust pink cheeks and curve upward smile, the welcoming arms seemed like oceans away.Do I have to cross the 7 harsh oceans to see that one who would hold me tight and protect me, or just simply smile at me? I know though, I will know When i see that smile and the glow in the eyes…Just when I see it…Just if I see it….
In my moonlight dream, I danced to the serenade of the sea’s orchestra. I was the princess,who spread joy and suppressed miseries from the Pandora box. In my dream, I was the princess who never cries, and never succumb to sorrow. Give me a pensive, and let me travel along the fringe of time, seeking this moonlight dream of mine where loneliness is a word unknown, and something nonexistent to me.Where fear is not fear, where you are beautiful, where I am here.
Through my eyes, I attempt at my very best to only indulge in the best of a person. Ignorant I am sometimes to things I do not want to see or know. Ignorance is bliss, isn’t that how the saying goes…but you know if Aphrodite cruises along the avenue of roses.She will leave crystals of tears looking down at how beauty can be ruined. Did they not know beauty illuminates from within?
Maybe someone should tell them…..
p.s : just a couple of very random thoughts put together. I know between paragraphs, they do not really merge properly. Because this is fairly an unplanned piece and just thoughts my fingers typed in this 10 minutes, thus popped up on your screen was what popped up in my mind.
~AnN~
11.28.08
Love gives you the strength you never thought you have
I survived the week 
Yay!!
My chemistry colloquium sucks big time 
took me 2 hours to get it done and I am sure I did not do well….If I have to write it again I will really cry…I need a freaking miracle. i do not know how it went but I really really have to brush up on this subject…it is as though chemistry is my biggest enemy
Physics went well I think and I am proud to say I am the one and only one who did not copy :p haha ~ it also means that I am pretty much screwed haha:p
Biology was difficult..I am not even joking how difficult it was. Considering I studied till 5, woke up late, could not get a taxi, late for the colloquium but my luck was still lingering around as the teacher was not in class. So I busily sat myself down. I Looked like shit that day…Not even kidding…look hideous and tired.It was an open book test which every one knows…Open book test means the worse of your nightmare. Stuff like butterfly genes started appearing on my paper….Where did stuff like that come from is beyond my understanding 
definitely not part of the stuff I studied for till 5 am
Latin was ok Definitely did better than my last colloquium. I have to rewrite my 1st one next week though.
Plus minus..everything was cool:) o
Winter came and left. Came again and left again. It’s beautifully white now It is so pretty as if we are part of the chronicles of Narnia haha :p…serious k
White beauty
the video above was shoot by Chris, a friend who is currently in 2nd year. it shows them taking a cadaver out of the pool of formalin and pushing the cadaver( corpse) into an ancient lift( i did not even know there is a lift that works in the uni) and taking mr. cadaver to class…You can see it no where else…rather cool I should add
I Just watched ” Have Dreams Will Travel”
I love everything about it. I love the relationship both the child have which meant much more than any grown-up adults can have. I love how they stood by each other through the hardest of times. I love the scene when they were jealous, because that only shows how much they meant to each other. I love how intellectually brilliant she is and how simple he is. They are so opposite and yet they fit just fine next to each other like a perfect puzzle piece.I love how he never abandoned her and even running away he would rescue her and take her along.I especially love how their love gave strength and motivation to each other to achieve dreams beyond their capacity..Dreams so big, dreams so great. because that is exactly what love is suppose to do, to give strength to each other rather than tying each other down. Love gives you the strength you never thought you will have.It is very magical indeed. this love story.I love how forever was proven in their love. I love how they grew together, they remain together, they live together till the day they left earth. Forever was their love.I love this movie…definitely in my favorite list beside ” A walk to remember” and will definitely watch it again.
“We have to have a plan…life is crazy enough without one….”*Cass*
She have everything mapped out so wonderfully well and plans and mapping things are way beyond my ability. I am the impulsive and unpredictable girl as what
*Ben* would say “Sometimes it is hard knowing whether you should or should not do something, so you just do what feels right at that time”
now that sounds more like me :p I can come up with the craziest known ideas possible and I think everyone around me who knows me well enough can definitely understand that.
” You end up missing most..the sweet burden of being needed,because your life has a purpose. It really does because it makes you feel great “
When I fall in love…It would be like this movie..haha yeah…however, I predict that my love life will be somewhere really far down the road…I doubt that it is happening anytime now cause I cannot even whiff its scent haha but It is alright
I have movies to day dream about…like my perfect Landon Carter or my perfect Love story like this movie…. Landon Carter plays my perfect main character plus “Have dreams will travel” the perfect plot to my very own movie aww…. the perfect sweet dreams haha~
~AnN~
11.27.08
Untouchable..
The sky was raining down the tears from heaven
I hold the foamy latte close to the tip of my lips
I hold in my hand
Words unspoken of…..
I hold in my heart
Feelings unknown of….
Thoughts
unspeakable of….
Secrets
Untouchable….
hidden beneath the thick creamy foam….
Let me leave you now with a love letter written by Victor Hugo to Adele Foucher, a childhood friend whom he fell in love and was married to. Victor Hugo is a very famous French poet, novelist, statesman etc,etc who wrote the very famous Les Miserable and Notre-Dame de Paris
My dearest,
When two souls, which have sought each other for,
however long in the throng, have finally found each other …a union, fiery and pure as they themselves are… begins on earth and continues forever in heaven.
This union is love, true love, … a religion, which deifies the loved one, whose life comes from devotion and passion, and for which the greatest sacrifices are the sweetest delights.
This is the love which you inspire in me… Your soul is made to love with the purity and passion of angels; but perhaps it can only love another angel, in which case I must tremble with apprehension.
Yours forever,
Victor Hugo (1821)
~AnN~
11.23.08
Rihanna – Rehab (Official Full Music Video) Ft. Justin Timberlake HQ / © UNIVERSAL MUSIC GROUP OWNS
Its out
Ann still wants a doggie
Winter sets foot
Had a snowball fight that day eyes were staring but we seriously do not give a damn haha but the next day all the white blanket were gone :’(
look at the pretty snowflakes:)
So pretty
Both pictures were taken around10 pm last night from my room…It was so pretty that I was half tempted to run down in the snow haha:P because in case you do not know…this is packing snow a.k.a snowball fight snow a.k.a snowman snow….
but then by 4am…because of the rain….the white blanket once again revealed the green grass 
so…Ann is not building a snowman this weekend
my schedule for next week:~
Monday :
Chemistry Control and Chemistry Kolok
Tuesday:
Philosophy class in which I have to read 1/2 a text book by then which I obviously did not start yet because it’s freaking russian is so difficult to understand.I like philosophy mind you…but the language is seriously not a piece of cake….She was already pissed of with me last week…Like I prepared for class but she didn’t call out that question
Wednesday:
Physics Kolok
Thursday:
Biology Kolok
Friday:
Latin dictation ( which consist of almost 300 words to memorise>..yeah I kinda counted)
Latin Kolok
and I have to settle my anatomy bones and ligaments Kolok….
on the side note
Doggie
I was studying till late last night and i was looking at my stuff-doggie.. I have been wanting a puppy for like almost a month now but I cannot possibly get one in the hostel…Sometimes i really wish this stuff dog is real. able to Accompany me through times, sitting there when I am studying, lying with me when I am sleeping, being there for me, never leaving me or abandoning me, listening to all my problems, hugging me when i need one, loving me always, never will forsake or betray me…
I was at a friend’s room that day and they just bought a dog…It is so damn cute and I am so tempted to kidnap the little fella…Damn this blog is read by many in the hostel…If the puppy is missing…they are so looking for me haha
Damn I want a puppy(miniature toy dog that doesn’t grow up too big)…..if possible the exact same one as my stuff dog.
~AnN~
11.22.08
I still want a puppy:)
Thank you for letting me see the beautiful things before taking it all away from me. Thank you for giving the good to me before it all ends.I do not and will not complain anymore. I understand the arrangement and am already used to it. Everything good given to me will be taken away in the end.I accepted that fact already.
However I am still unable to detach myself from feelings completely. I am still unable to enjoy the present times even though I appreciate it a lot. I appreciate every single moment in the present but I cannot help but think of how one day it will leave me like all times. I am trying very hard but I am just not build that way.
Each time I hope I am wrong, each time I hope
but yet again
The same scene replays itself…
What can I do?
only one thing..
Thank you for giving me happy memories, for the the wonderful times, and new things I learn. Smile, Look up to the heavens and say a huge thank you.
Damn pissed off….I can’t upload pictures:(
~AnN~
11.19.08
Check it out:)
Check out the curls and twist at the side panel of my blog…but if you are lazy
click below
if you are curious to know what Heureux Pour Toujours means and what words are my favourite other than Serendipity that is..
and my to-do-list
11.18.08
The Sky turns dark at 4:30 pm
Walking home beneath the dark blue sky
on this cold day
beneath the stars
actually felt
really
really
good…
~AnN~
Forever.All.Always
Jon Mclaughin: A song you might here in a wedding
“Forever,”
“All,”
And “always”
are words I’ve used before
with all the wrong faces
But I’m gonna use the rest of my life
To prove into you those words were lies
Of the million things a heart can hold
And of all the things I’ve come to know
A love
I need love
I can’t see
I’ll be alright with you now by my side
And if tomorrow you’re gone
And I still go on
I promise to spend the rest of me on you
People say we are where we belong
We hold each other’s hands as if we’re holding on
And to me, a little of your you
Is like a little bit of sun makes the moon
For “if’s” we plan around become “when’s”
a center of narrows and bends
a love
I need love
I can’t see enough
And I’ll be alright with you now by my side
If tomorrow you’re gone
And I still go on to spend the rest of me on you
And if there ever was a shred of doubt
It’s hopelessly romantic now
And I hope the time can slow us down
And the minutes pass and the hours now
With all the clocks counting down to love
I need love
I can’t see enough
And I’ll be alright
With you now by my side
And if tomorrow you’re gone and I still go on
I promise to spend the rest of me on you
~this video features the song and my favourite Grey’s Anatomy as background~Play it k
I am actually listening to it right now while reading about muscles:P not a perfect combination..A Nicholas Sparks novel will go perfectly well with this song haha~ Anyway..It is a beautiful song and I love it and fell in love with it the first time I heard it….it is almost like a wedding vow:P
I was in the metro just yesterday and I saw this couple, not just any couple. Really really sweet couple who are both at their 50s and they still are sweet and beautiful together.It is beautiful because through their eyes and their smile towards each other you can still see the love they hold for each other, no longer just lovers, no longer just dating, no longer just married but soul mates, best friends and there for each other for life. They are beautiful together.Simply beautiful despite the wrinkly hands holding each other, Despite the wrinkled smile which is not simply just a smile anymore. It meant much more…
Just a few weeks back I was Just chatting with Chantelle about married life and having children…(Her married life and her having children) That conversation just got me happy throughout the week and all excited for her. The baby names. thinking how beautiful they will be, and how happy they are.Just got me all excited, all jumpy the whole week just thinking of her future beautiful children and how I am so flying back to see them during their christening, baptism whatever whenever I save enough money
tonight I am adding a new prayer in my prayer list…
May all the married couples in the world remain married and happy. May all couples in the world keep holding hands and never let go of each other. Learn to appreciate each other more, let all disagreement dissolve, in their eyes, may there be no one else but each other. fall in love with each other all over again.May all the singletinis out there:) May you find the perfect other half and may you be happy. If you are still single and sad about it, Don’t worry, God has a plan and he is sending the perfect Prince charming or Princess to you
Love is so beautiful but why are there so many things ruining this beautiful creation.
Love is so simple, so genuine, so sincere but why are there so many things making it difficult,
So many tears shed, so many hearts bleed…
but tonight I want to believe and only see the beauty of love…
May love be bless tonight to sprinkle on earth like fairy dust.
~AnN~
P.s I can’t seem to post pictures =(
